30 minutes ago,

i was reading the pursuit of God. something really caught my eye, and was so very timely for where i am, or for where i'm not. but i remembered just 'till now.

"first of all, he should put away all defence and make no attempt to excuse himself either in his own eyes or before the Lord. whoever defends himself will have himself for defence, and he will have no other. but let him come defenceless before the Lord and he will have for his defender no less than God Himself."

"Father, i want to know Thee, but my cowardly heart fears to give up its toys"

sometimes we compromise our relationship with God, if there is any, for the sake of our own enjoyment, for the sake of belonging, for the sake of not knowing how to approach Him. and it's not a new age christian observation. our brokeness commenced when adam & eve decided to pursue the forbidden fruit, isolated us on this world, torn apart from our intimacy.

but we let our 'toys' get the best of us. we let it all be about us, rarely looking above at Him.
the funny thing is, is that i'm so broken and dishevelled, and so very hungry for the Word. however lately, i've done nothing about it but seek idols. tear me down. asap.