2010: In review

It's unusual to think that 2010 is just a day away from being over. In a sense, it's quite sad, so many things have happened, so many changes have been made, and i can't help but wonder if i have grown at all. if the things i've toiled and struggled with, cried over, fought over, prayed over and talked over really produced anything good out of it. i think they have.

losing friendships was possibly one of the biggest changes that has occurred in 2010. i'm not the kind of person to give up on people like i have this year, especially when i cared so much about them. and saying this, its kind of depressing and kind of selfish because i gave them up so that both parties would have an opportunity of seeing where we went wrong, so that we couldn't repeat it again in future. i wonder if losing them had any real benefit. hm... and in speaking on friendships, a lot of existing ones have strengthened, new ones formed and old ones were re-ignited.

the hsc was yet another giant i've successfully slain; getting into uni was another. i wouldn't really trade the stress, the studying and the teachers because i had ugly-bugly friends to share it all with. they really made going to school a lot easier. there'd be billions of days where i would abhor having to wake up and get to school, but the thought of laughing and punching on with them made me get up for school - even if i was going to be late and slaughtered by mr. gavin.

serving in the junior high ministry at YD (youth with a destiny) was another highlight. serving alongside leaders who had the same focus and heartbeat for these young hustlers was an additional blessing. i'm thankful to have grown a lot closer and given the opportunity to serve alongside them. all the while, seeing young highschoolers flourish and grow in their walks with God. And seeing young highschoolers go through all kinds of troubles and situations and come out of the other end more stronger, really tops it when i think about YD. nothing is more encouraging than this and it is something i really love about them. 

as for my family, we've become a lot more like a family this year. no, i'm not saying we're perfect now, we are far from perfect. but i'm confident to say that my relationships with my immediate family is simply, better than it has been in a very, very long time.

finally, i'm thankful for what God has done in my life. whether it involved getting a few spiritual slaps across the face in order to face my problems and the courage to step out of my comfort zone. and just how He has really carried me through everything. not a day goes by that i cannot think about how He gives me the strength and boldness to face things i really couldn't without Him.

So, 2010. You've been one rollercoaster and i'm excited to hop on board for the next lap in 2011. This time, i'll try not to vomit on the other patrons.

NEVER POSTED: Dear Condemning Christians,

from where i stand as a christian, one of the greatest failings i’ve witnessed from christians (from the past and to present day) is the misunderstanding of homosexuality and how it was and is sometimes abused and overshadowed by homophobia and ignorance. homosexuality isn’t a new thing, or a next level sin, it’s something that’s been discussed and dealt with for a really long time, it stemming to the old testament of the Bible (from as far as i’ve read).

yet still, why do homosexuals recieve such hate? why are some churches building cultures of fear where being honest would mean “almost certain rejection and ridicule”? Everyone is guilty of sin and no one has any authority to pin a person or reject a person just because they have chosen to live a certain way.

The only thing you could really say to a person (any person) is that you’re living in sin, why? because “i have sinned too”, because “i have walked in your shoes”, because “this is who i was, and this is who i am today because of Jesus”, because “i’m just as broken and messed up” not because you’re “holier-than-thou” or because you’re straight.

just let me get my message straight: GOD IS NOT A PERSECUTOR OF HOMOSEXUALS. If He were a persecutor of homosexuals, He would then be a persecutor of all our sins. we would all be condemning and picketing against each other for thinking lustful thoughts about your crush, for wearing your sister’s favourite shirt without asking, for not doing the dishes for your parents etc etc… and the world would be a really weird place. if that’s how God was, i wouldn’t want to believe in Him. but that’s not who He is, and this is not what Jesus teaches. The bible is not homophobic.

What are Christians supposed to do then? Well i’m going to live out Jesus’ gospel, not by shoving his Word down peoples’ throats and bible bashing others to see my veiw, but by bearing that same Love He shared for everyone (the homosexuals, the murderers, the adulterers, the liars - there are no exceptions for Jesus). He died and rose again for a specific reason and hate isn’t one of them. I know, i've only begun the work that God wants me to do through my friends. It's a scary thing to do, to challenge your friendships, not because of being religiously blind, but because of the genuine love you have for them. to see them understand that unconditional love God has for them.

[POST-SCRIPT]: Read Leviticus 18, Read 1 Corinthians 6:9-11.
A lot of what i learnt on this topic came from a book titled “what some of you were” which was edited by Christopher Keane. it’s pretty much different stories of people who are christian and have struggled or are struggling with homosexuality and transsexuality (or are family members of those who are). it's a great book.

digital dissatisfaction

i'm getting sick of my other blog site, tumblr. which is why i guess i'm typing here. i used to be the kind of person who wanted followers, who cared about delivering things my followers would like. but then i realised that i was being superficial and i wasn't doing, writing, posting things that i wanted to post. i became a slave to the race for popularity, for digital affirmation; by doing so, i plagiarised the works of others and robbed myself of not caring about what i wanted to post. i became a mirror of what is experienced in contemporary society. how we'll try and we'll change to be noticed. only to find ourselves in an eighties teen flick where the protagonist realises she/he just needs to be herself.

and it's not just something i've noticed about myself. but its something i've noticed with the blogs that i follow and stalk. i've picked up on how their blogs used to contain things about their lives, their struggles, their stories and their own work. things that i want to read, but things that we think others don't care about. i've got friends masquerading themselves with "hipster" images and photographs they don't have the creativity and/or determination to create themselves. and there's nothing wrong with that. however, i can't help but think, "is this really them?" "are they faking out just to gain more followers?".

now you see, i would've and should've posted this on my other blog. alas, i don't have the balls to. "what if they get offended?" "what if they think its directly about them?". oh anonymity. why did you have to turn into a troll? it was a lot easier when tumblr wasn't tainted.

GRAD FORMAL 2010

the sequence is actually back to front. but oh well, it was an amazing night that will be hard to sleep off.