graduating high school is more than we all think

so, if you're frequent in updating yourself on my blogger shenanigans, it is clear and you'd understand the things i've been experienced the past week. but its in the past, and that's where i'll leave it. however, somewhat understand the contextualities of this post goes hand-in-hand with what i've been going through in my friendships.

He's been teaching me a lot about friendships, problems and pain. I guess, one of the hardest struggles is, amongst all that, am i kneeling before the King and offering it to Him? Am i yielding myself, worshipping Him with complete disregard of my dignity, of my appearance but having my heart set and intent on encountering Him on a measure i never have before.

Problems and issues, although you seek Him in the midst of it, can be so distracting in actually encountering God. I've just realised that, sometimes we more so seek Him for the sole purpose of finding solutions, rather than the sole heartbeat of a desire to just worship Him for all He is, disregarding the fact that you've got issues in your life. What an interesting revelation. What an interesting way to twist and re-conceptualise how and why we worship. well, not really, but it sounds fresh to me in those words.

Attached to this blog are images of the remnants of the our "group" (somewhat, with one of two figures missing). Yeah, we had a split. And it was hard for me, and the other side will probably never understand it from my point-of-veiw. it was a hurtful thing to do, but i know it was right and i appreciate those who are sticking around, sticking for life. that's how we veiw it now. we just don't want friends who cheat on our emotions etc, we want life friends, friends we can struggle through life with, friends that will fight and bicker but for a purpose only to build each other up and resolutions in situations that do arise.

i'm exuberantly thankful for the experiences i've had with people from all different types of ideals, morals and goals. i have never been so challenged by a group of people in my faith. its been through my friendships with these guys that i've abandoned the hindsight of religion, but rather opened my eyes to what this place is really about, Jesus says its about love. Sharing it, living it, giving it, sacrificing it, understanding it. And i agree.